Red Light, Green Light

May 3, 2008 at 4:20 pm (2007)

(Saturday) January 5, 2008

Happy New Year! 2007 pretty much sucked in the way sucky years usually go, so I’m raising my glass to 2008 in the hopes that it will change.

Speaking of change…

For the next three to four weeks I will be undergoing a state of limbo in regards to my future, with said future being decided by a little piece of paper that will arrive via the US Postal Service (our mailman better get our mail situation corrected in the meantime!).

I have submitted my application to Emerson College. If I am accepted, I will be moving to Boston and starting a new life and on the road to the career I have dreamed of.

If I don’t get in, I’ll have to find a different route towards that career, which I believe will be finding a steady job for approximately two years as I save up money before moving to Boston. Life sometimes gets put on hold, and if that is indeed what happens, I will accept that and pay my dues — I’ve had a pretty wonderful life thus far, I think I owe it to whomever has blessed me, if this be the case.

Either way, though, I think I want to move to Boston — I think that I need to make a clean break and begin fresh — every so often, I think one just needs that in order to put life into perspective, in order to really take a look at how far you’ve come and to determine where you want to go next. Here’s the thing, though — I don’t want to leave my family or my dear friends, but everything is telling me that this is something I need to do — I won’t finding what I’m looking for in Lancaster…Even though my heart and my past is here, my future, I believe, lies elsewhere. Is that in Boston? I can’t be certain, but I’m willing to take a chance and give it a try.

A huge change is about to happen in my life — I can sense it like a shift in the wind. Whether this is for the better or for the worse, I can’t be sure, but this state of stagnation I’ve been going through feels like its coming to an end and something else is about to be started. I can’t quite explain what this feeling is, and I don’t mean to be cryptic in my thoughts — maybe I’m just apprehensive about what the outcome will be and am hoping against all hope that something will give my life a swift kick in the ass. Whatever the reason for this feeling, I know that it will come to fruition within the coming weeks — no more limbo, no more waiting idly for an answer…I’ll be able to start preparing…whatever the road may be.

If that light doesn’t stay green, I’m blowing through the yellow one on my way to somewhere.

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